


And so, he shattered.

by ghosted051



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, dreams just a veyr very short side character, i have bad anxiety, i want a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27960092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghosted051/pseuds/ghosted051
Summary: Crawling out of bed, Corpse had been ready to die.(And maybe he still did.)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 104





	And so, he shattered.

His throat felt like it was on fire.

He ached everywhere, and the only noise in his head was **static.**

Corpse’s vision blurred when he timidly sat up from his rumpled bed, moving slow in fear of more pain. Corpse had to get up though, he had to get to his computer. Corpse couldn’t disappoint his _friends_ already, the fact that he had people to call friends still felt like a fragile dream.

_(His eye stung, and his head pounded at the mere thought of staring at something brighterbrighterbrighterbrighter-)_

Softly sitting down on the chair, hand’s already **shaking**. Corpse couldn’t even think of stomaching one of the stale crackers on his desk.

Gently, with quivering hands, the man known only as Corpse Husband turned on his computer. The fluorescent light of the screen, made his head dully pound with pain harder, in time with his heartbeat. Clicking on the required tabs to start streaming, he opened Discord, instantaneously he heard the _ding!_ Of notifications, Corpse sighed, feeling exhausted yet full of anxiety already. It had only been minutes since he woke up, and he felt like shit.

_(He had just crawled out of bed, how could he be already tired? He’s so fucking useless-)_

Preparing himself to speak for hours on end, he opened Among Us, made sure the proximity chat worked, then joined the Discord call. _Hi’s and Hello Corpse’s_ reverberated through his headphones.

“Hello, friends” Corpse’s voice was deeper and raspier than usual.

“Corpse!” Rae chirped.”How are you!”

He softly smiled, spirits slightly lifted in the few seconds he had been there.

-

Corpse was not an Imposter this round thankfully, he didn’t think his brain could handle trying to keep track of everyone. Opening his map, mind straining to grasp thoughts, he looked at his tasks. He headed straight to asteroids, once completed he continued downwards.

To shields.

Past comms.

Into storage.

He wandered around The Skeld doing his tasks, like a dutiful Crewmate. Softly muttering words to his viewers. 

_(Three hundred thousand viewers, holy shit-)_

_-_

Corpse had saved the one he dreaded the most for last. The fucking cardswipe, this task was the bane of his meager existence. Corpse directed his little character towards admin. Stepping inside the room, he saw JackSepticEye, _(“Call me Sean, Corpse!”)_ doing his upload. Corpse moved past him, lumbering towards the cardswipe task. Sucking in a deep breath, resisting the urge to cough. He swiped the card for the first time this game hoping for the best- the machine blared its disapproval of him. 

Corpse tried giving a pitiful laugh to his viewers, attempting to pretend that everything was _okayokayokay-_

His cursor shook when he moved the card back to the start, clearing his raw throat, _fuck that hurt._ The machine scoffed it’s criticism at him.

His hands trembled, nerves suddenly on high alert.

_(Hundreds of thousands of eyes stared at him in judgement.)_

_He tried again._

His breath rattled.

_Bad read, try again._

_Too fast, try again._

_Too fast, try again._

_Too slow, try again._

_Try again._

_Try again._

_Try again._

_Try. Again._

**_TRY AGAIN-_ **

-

Unsurprisingly, Corpse had been sussed and subsequently voted out.

  
  


-

  
  


A few more games of suffering and Corpse was ready to call it quits, covering his face with his hands, he tried to take his mind off of the pain. His eye still stung, head still drumming away with no expense, stomach rolling nauseatingly, acid crawling up his throat.

_(But he had to keep playing, if Corpse didn’t play then everyone would leave and he was oh, so desperate for someone to pay him a scrap of positive attention.)_

  
  


“-orpse?”

Blinking, his mind drifted back into its cage. Focusing back on his screen, he saw Dream’s little astronaut running in circles around Corpse. He hadn’t even noticed the group starting another round...

_(Shit, how long had he been out of it? Were his viewers mad? Did he mess up already-)_

Clearing his throat again, _fuck that still hurt._

“Sorry, what’d you say?” Corpse gave a delayed response.

Dream frowned concerned. “I was asking if you were okay, you’ve been standing in spawn for half this game.”

( _And you’ve been quiet this whole session, Dream wanted to say, but something withheld his words.)_

Corpse tasted bile, copper on his tongue. He tossed a flimsy excuse at the speedrunner

Dream’s concern didn’t dissipate, but trusted Corpse to stop if anything bad happened.

As soon as Dream moved away, Corpse muttered something to his chat about grabbing a glass of water. Gingerly, the man pushed his chair back, opened the door and made his way to the kitchen, all the while swaying. 

The kitchen had a tiny minuscule sliver of dim light pushing through the curtains. His headache had never dulled throughout the day. Whining softly in pain, Corpse grabbed a glass cup, put it under the sink and watched it fill, once full he brought it to his chapped lips.

_(His hands were shaking still, what was wrong with him-)_

Then suddenly all Corpse could think about was the fact that a _quarter million people were waiting on him. His hand spasmed in panic and the cup fell with a_ **_LOUDCRACKTHENITSHATTEREDBUTCORPSEONLYHEARSSTATICHISHEADHURTWHYCANTHEBREATHHELPHELPHELP-_ **

**00000000000**

The room was pitch black and Corpse couldn’t see anything. His body ached from laying on the ground, and the right sleeve of his hoodie was soaked in bone chilling water. Stiffly, the faceless youtuber sat up, muscles straining. He realized that his phone was ringing a shrill repetitive tune, grabbing it Corpse’s thumb already over the _decline_ button, he paused, an eye straining green icon was showing the caller I.D, it was _Dream._ Corpse stared uncertain of answering, they hadn't known each other long, so his mind muddled thoughts together, trying to understand why _Dream_ of all people was trying to contact him.

Sighing, Corpse let the Discord call continue ringing. Body fighting him, he stood up, fumbled for the light switch, and considered the puddle of cold water. Corpse felt done with life, groaning he shuffled around the kitchen cleaning glass shards and wiping up the spilled water.

Once the task was completed he shambled to his computer set-up, and with blatant horror he looked at his screen realizing that he was still streaming Among Us, only it’s just on the main menu. Head pounding, and the urge to vomit strong, Corpse moved silently to his computer, not wanting whoever the _fuck_ waited around on his stream to hear him, he would crack if he had to put up a front. Hands jittery, Corpse was able to turn off his computer with out anymore fanfare.

Taking a deep breath- Corpse immediately fell into a fit of hacking coughs, stumbling he dropped onto his knees, lungs squeezing painfully.

Mind stuck on the fact that no one was there to _catch him, but he fucked up all his relationships-_

Eye’s shining with unshed tears, Corpse felt so alone. 

_(He deserved it, who would want to be friends with a fuck-up like him?)_

And so, with his fragile glass body, he shattered.

**Author's Note:**

> my heart hurts, and im so alone, can't i have a friend?
> 
> sorry this is so short my mind is in a bad place :/ im proud i focused this long though :) even if it was to make a fucking sad af fanfic
> 
> but for real i want a friend who like can comfort me :( if someone asks for my discord ill give it... actaully ill consider it since ill most definitly panic badly (but i want a friend fuck social anxiety)


End file.
